It’s Normal to be Different
It’s normal to be different, but it is also normal to not accept difference. The first is biological. The second is social. It is biologically normal to be different. In a population, variation is the norm. Therefore, it is normal to be different. It is socially normal to not accept difference. We are conformist societies that pretend to be anti-conformist. So we pressure one another to prove our anti-conformist bona fides by conforming to being an anti-conformist. We invent subcultures for those of us who don’t feel normal enough to be in the mainstream and require the same burdens of anti-conformist proof. We create public institutions and economic systems to make sure everyone turns out to be a normal standard human, doing normal standard (not different) human things — within a range or a fabricated hierarchy.
Does it seem like our biology and sociology are out of sync here? Our society won’t accept difference despite it being a biological fact of life. Not just human life. Though we do tend to mostly concern ourselves with human lives. That is the normal thing we do now. Although we may each do it differently. But is that why we try to standardize batches of developing humans who will all be able to know and do certain things by approximate certain ages? That is one way of denying the normalcy of difference — the effort to standardize. Another way is to create power dynamics in a society. Sometimes we use our affinity for hierarchical thinking to create rigid systems of rank within our societies — based on perceived differences. But remember differences are normal, until we came along and decided they are not. Or that we won’t let them be. What’s the difference?
We enact this assault against our biology from the earliest normal moments of each different person’s life. Through the family, through the culture, through the public institutions, the bureaucracy, the economy, we pressure each other to be the same enough as to be an “us,” where “us” varies in scale and context. We heckle the difference out of each other so that we can all be normal together as an “us.” And we can all condemn those who are not “us” as a “them.” Because they are not “us.” They are not normal. They are different. We are “Us” and they are “them,” like on Dark Side of the Moon.
Why do we simultaneously do this to each other and subject ourselves to it? Is it self-hatred? Fear of being alone or seen as not normal? Isn’t that the ultimate irony? To fear being seen as not normal by everyone else who is not normal? Because it is normal to be different? (Could stop here)
Is this a paradox of our modern society? Have we always been this way? When did we start revolting against our own biology? Was it around the time we started seeing ourselves as separated from nature? As different? Is this why biophobia is so normal now?
What if we all realize this? Who actually benefits from this? What would life be like if it were normal to accept difference because it is normal to be different?